In this video Dr Ashish discusses the traumas one feels during fertility journey
Hi there. Good afternoon. This is Dr. Ashish, back on my weekly, sorry, yes, weekly, Wednesday live. I do two lives Wednesday and Saturdays. So this is Wednesday live to talk about issues in and around fertility, fertility, Journey infertility.
And I support women and couples going through fertility issues, whether it’s through whether they’re trying to conceive naturally or with IVF. I support both types of people with natural bespoke natural therapies and homes.
And today, I’m talking about trauma.
And this is just a small you know, from my part, just just highlighting a huge issue, just a small effort from my side, just highlighting this issue in the fertility journey, how trauma is what trauma is, and what can you do just have some simple steps, simple things that you can do on your own, you may need somebody to help as well, what is trauma of fertility, what is trauma in the fertility journey while you’re going through fertility issues. So anybody who has been trying to get pregnant for at least over a couple of years, and also have been going through a number of tests, with the gynaecologist with the doctors, and they haven’t conceived yet, or perhaps they conceive naturally, and unfortunately, they miscarried, or they had chemical pregnancy.
Any of those reasons, any of those incidents are the reason for trauma to be happening inside of you, you may not be aware of it, you may not label it as such. But trauma is happening there. Every single time some event is happening around you in your life, as far as fertility is concerned. So every little even small thing that you may think, Oh, this is only a small thing, you know, I haven’t wanted to go to see a doctor and then that consultation didn’t happen doesn’t happen again. But do you feel affected by it? Do you feel angry, sad, lots of emotions, you feel oh, perhaps I don’t know whether I’m ever going to be able to, you know, get through a good doctor, or how long is it gonna take you feel that frustration, that is adding on to your trauma, it’s little by little everyday that keeps adding on to your trauma and trauma is very subjective, it is how you feel it, you may not be able to even sometimes clinically label it, you may go to the doctor, and they may say this is not clinically you don’t fit into the definition of somebody affected by trauma. But as I said, it is subjective, if you feel affected by by it, if your mind feels affected by it, if your lifestyle feels affected by it, you are not able to get rid of that.
That feeling those emotions are coming, you know uncontrollably. And you’re not able to control your mood and your behaviours or you lifestyle is affected by it. You may be eating or binge eating, or you may be not sleeping and suddenly as they’re all of those are symptoms of you getting affected by trauma, you might be crying uncontrollably, which happens when women are going through fertility issues. Many times they just label it, oh, I’m hormonal, oh, I’m going through IVF and being given so many hormones that adds to the trauma. But the fact that it is affecting you emotionally, it is affecting you internally. And trauma, every single trauma that you are affected subjectively. It is affecting your biology. It is affecting your physiology. It is affecting each and every cell of you, if you feel that shock, and that shock may be when you lost the baby, you lost a pregnancy, that shock that you’re going to feel that shock is felt by each and every cell of you.
And then those trauma that is affecting yourself is also passed on from generations to generations. We have scientists have proof of that. So it is proven that if you are affected by trauma very very deeply it is going to get passed on to your children. So it is not something that which you should brush off. You may not feel it. You may feel that oh, I’m really strong. I can deal with it. Yes, you may be very strong and you can deal with it. You can deal with it better.
If you have some support, some help to deal with it, then you can deal with it better you can come out of it on the other side. And by the way, if those people who are trying to get pregnant women who are trying to get pregnant, and you might think, oh, once I have a child, I will, you know, forget about all this sadness, I’ll my emotions will be behaving properly. But that’s not the case. Because each and every pregnancy, or each and every effort for a particular baby is unique in its own right, even when you have a baby, the traumas still affects you, not just for a year, not just for two years, but years and years, generations down the line. And then also generations tagline, one, purely because it’s in your consciousness, and it’s in your behaviour, and you behave according to that. Secondly, because it actually affects your cells, and your genetic material as well. So I always feel and because I work in this area, people who are not affected by fertility issues, people who have no knowledge of fertility issues, and they’re perhaps very lucky to have the children without any effort whatsoever. They may not understand this, but this information is for those who are trying to get pregnant, and doing everything in their power to get pregnant and still are not able to get pregnant and really, really getting affected by this information is for them.
So what can you do?
You know, well, I see all my work with my patients, my clients, when I see them in my clinic, it’s it’s, it affects me, of course, it’s heartbreaking to see that somebody who’s doing so much effort, and they’re putting all their resources, their time, their money, their emotions, their relationships, all into this pot to be able to get pregnant, or not able to have a child, and what can I do, how can I support them, I feel as a practitioner, I feel their emotions as well. And I, I do think that fertility is one of those diseases or illnesses where the trauma is, every single day, you may have a big accident, and you have that trauma for six months for one year, while you are, you know, getting better with it, you are getting healthier, after that big accident. But with fertility, it is every single day, because you are hopeful every single day to get pregnant or every month. And then when you don’t get pregnant, you feel of course you feel all those emotions that you feel. And then when somebody is beyond that, beyond that stage where they were trying to conceive on their own there, and then they’ve started going to doctors and all maybe they are on IVF journey, it becomes even more intense, it becomes even more obvious right in your face that every single day you are, you’re reminded that you are not pregnant yet. So it is every day it adds on to your trauma, it adds on to all those emotions that you might be feeling if you are not letting them go or if you’re not dealing with them. So if trauma is there every day, then you have to do something everyday to to counterbalance it. To help yourself heal from that trauma. You cannot wait until you have a baby and then you’re going to start looking into healing. We weren’t going to start looking into psychotherapy or counselling. No, you have to do it now right now, alongside while you’re trying to get pregnant because trauma is happening right now every day.
So first is to acknowledge that you are affected by it. Even if you don’t feel as perhaps another friend of yours was going through this and she’s feeling much more you’re feeling much less, you’re still in control of your situation still acknowledge that it it is happening to you every day, especially as I mentioned, if you’ve already started going doctors and are going through number of procedures and blood tests and different tests.
Number two is you need to look into breath work breathing pranayama, which is yogic breathing, breathing of some some kind that is suitable for your body and mind type. So not every year we create a suitable for every person not every yogic breathing is suitable.
You know, the way it is done is not suitable for you. So you need to find what kind of breathing exercise is good for you. How can you make it suitable for yourself? And breathing is one of the ways to go learns to cleanse yourself at the cellular level to cleanse your mind to cleanse your body.
And also with the breath, you also connect with yourself. So you become very aware of yourself. So look into breathing. Yeah. And I always say go to a practitioner. First when you’re learning don’t learn it just online. Don’t just learn it. Yes, you can watch various YouTube videos and all that, but go and find a practitioner whom you can connect with and they can teach you one on one firsthand. The third is to look into some kind of mindful practice. Some mindful practice that is again is suitable to your body and your mind time. If you have a very racy mind, you need a different kind of mindful exercise. If you are a very stable, calmer person, you need a different kind of mindful exercise for you. So same kind of mindful exercise does not work. Yeah.
Another thing that would be really beneficial is learn to how to do visualisations creative visualisations or creative visualisations I can’t think of any other word. It is like daydreaming you said and you know creating a scenario and in that scenario, once you learn how to do it properly, you can heal yourself really well. And as I said, Because trauma is every day while you’re on your fertility journey, you need healing everyday. You need this, all these steps to be done every day. So look into visualisations I find visualisation, extremely, extremely helpful.
And and the next one is you can journal it, you can write down all your feeling loneliness, now you can write it down like a story. You know, today this happened, I felt really bad, I felt really angry. And you can write all of that down, okay. Or if you don’t want to write down, you can record it on voice recording, record yourself. If you are somebody who wants to go back to these recordings and writings and or to read them or listen to them, good, save them, if you don’t want to do it recorded, and at the end of the week, just tear them apart or burn them because you don’t necessarily want to keep that acknowledgement.
If you are that person, you know, if you do want to keep it you want to chart your journey, then you can keep them. So these are the few various simple steps. And of course, you can go to a practitioner who can work with you, who can help you to balance you to to balance your body and mind to help you heal you at the same time.
And not just wait for once you have a baby. I do all this work with my clients as well. People who come on to my courses, they learn all of this we do mindset training, fertility, meditations and all of that. And of course, you can come and learn with me if you wish.
All if you know somebody who’s struggling to get pregnant, pass this information on to them. Perhaps this is the first time that they have heard that any of this happens or they might not be even aware of it.
So yeah, feel free to share. Feel free to put people in touch with me if you think somebody might be benefited by this. And I support women with natural therapies and natural herbs and natural bespoke programmes. Thank you so much for listening and watching and liking. And please help me to spread this information. Thank you