In this video Dr Ashish discusses talking about feeling let down when you’re trying to get pregnant.

Video Transcript

Good afternoon, Dr. Ashish, here. apologies for being late today technical issues that can happen sometimes. So my apologies, 11 o’clock today instead of 12, which is my usual time, but I’m consulting at that time. So hence, an hour early.

So today we are discussing and talking about feeling let down when you’re trying to get pregnant. Wednesday’s is generally the day when I discuss and share things about emotions, lots and lots of various emotions, and also the words and the feelings and everything that goes with those emotions. How you express your emotions, when if you are a woman trying to get pregnant. What are the range of emotions that you can go through? And my holistic perspective on those emotions and feelings and practical tools and tips? What can you do to manage, feeling letdown, that’s what we’re going to discuss? Briefly. And these are just bytes. All these sessions are only 10 to 15 minutes long, it’s just bite size information so that you can take perhaps one tip away for yourself and apply it in your in your journey of fertility. My name is Dr. Ashish, in case you don’t know. And I support women going through fertility issues, and dealing with complex cases, or that it has been a long journey for them, whether they’re going for natural conception or for IVF. And I work in both scenarios, preparing them mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, in every way to prepare them, so that they can have a healthier quicker consumption. So feeling let down what what do you mean by what do I mean by when I say feeling let down.

It is one of the phrases that is used quite commonly amongst women who have been trying to get pregnant for a while they feel let down. Feeling letdown is a phrase that when it’s used, it is coming from something that you expected, and it didn’t happen. And so you feel hurt, you feel sad that you were gearing towards you were looking forward for something to happen. And that particular incident then didn’t happen didn’t go through. And that’s when generally people use this phrase, I feel let down. And women use this phrase during fertility journey on many, many occasions, because for some women, and the ones I mainly deal with are the ones who have been on this journey for a long time, you know, a year two years, much longer three years, and so on. And every single day is, is adding to that trauma. And there are many instances where they feel they feel let down. The biggest feeling of letdown that women have when they’re trying to get pregnant is the feeling of that down because they expected their body to get pregnant when they wanted to. And it didn’t happen. So that is one main feeling of letdown that they’ve that they feel oh, they they just expected, you know, their body to behave, or their periods to be normal or the to get pregnant faster, quicker, whenever they wish, or at least you know, into three months time. But it didn’t happen. So that’s one feeling of letdown, women feel that the body has cheated them. And there are many other occasions when I deal with a lot of women who are going through IVF. And when they are going for eCollection the number of external happiness they expected or they were going through embryo transfer, it didn’t happen, something else occurred or some other incident happened the body didn’t behave or the body reacted to medicines, even naturally, if they’re trying for conception and it is not happening straightaway. It’s been six months, eight months and I know some couples who even six to eight months down the line they feel really you know, they’re ready to give up everything and I know some couples were going through it for years and years. So everybody’s feelings are very subjective feelings emotions are very subjective. If somebody says I feel let down you just have to take it as they are saying you cannot counteract it by saying No How can you feel let down when you know so and so, all of that has happened? How can you if somebody feels let down they feel let down. So what can we do? You feel those emotions are there I know that will feel that these emotions even when they sometimes are not able to put them in in words.

There are many who share these things openly. on social media, the number of Instagram accounts that I follow, and they’re sharing every day’s journey, because it is hard, because there is no other support available, they may not have supportive family and friends around them. So I know that feelings are there, what can we do? And I’m a Solutions person. So what can you do? Going forward? When you’re going through these feelings of let down? How can you? You felt it that way? You have stayed in that phase, perhaps for a day or two or maybe longer? But then what can you do to be more productive, and take that experience with you? Or go beyond past that experience? The different types of people, some people they want to go past that experiment? Some people want to take that learning with them and do something with it. So whatever kind of person you are, what are the solutions? What are the few things that I feel one can do? So one of the things is, when you feel letter, if you are a woman trying to get pregnant, have been trying to get pregnant for a while. And you feel this, you keep thinking about it, I feel I really feel let down by my clinic, by my doctor, by my friends, by my family, by my husband, by my partner, whoever else, or even by my own body is to voice these feelings. And I probably would have repeated this in other if you have seen my lives or podcast is that to write these down to voice them, you have to let these feelings emotions come out of you. in some form, it needs an expression.

Okay. So whether you say it aloud to yourself in the room, you know, say it aloud to yourself, shout, scream, do that, if that works for you. You can share it with a supportive group of friends or family. If you have those people around you, you can share with professionals like myself, you come you consult, we do therapy session, and you can talk about these feelings and emotions. You can also join a supportive group, there are a number of groups to do with fertility issues, and join them share your feelings and emotions and also listen to other people what they have to say. Yeah, so that is something you can do. You can also record these things which I’ve said in the past, you can write them for yourself, if you don’t want to share it for anybody else is too painful for you to share. But sharing bring it out of you is a healing process. If you keep it suppress. If you keep it suppressed, it is not going to help in the long run, even when you do have children, the trauma does not just go away, right? So bring it out in whichever format you want to write it, talk about it, share it, you know those experiences with other people who are in similar scenario. So talking about it, writing about it, voicing it, recording those voice recordings. So all of those activities will help. You can also do therapeutic work of you know, counselling or coming to a practitioner like myself, where you can do some therapy work on yourself, you can do some mindset training work for yourself. Perhaps perhaps you are a person who feel let down very easily. Perhaps you have been putting up a face brave face for far too long. And now it’s just all crumbling down and you don’t know what to do with all these emotions. So that needs some professional support. Yeah, so counselling is great psychotherapy sessions are great. other healing modalities are great, actual spiritual healing or Reiki or I do NLP training, mindset training, yoga training, you can come for all of those and work with those fields. Yeah, because it it is counterproductive for your fertility journey when you are feeling all of this. And if you’re not able to get that feeling out of you somewhere, it is going to fester inside and it is going to there’s no other technical term to put it but it’s it. It eats you from within. It’s just gonna keep knowing you. Knowing the word keeps eating you slowly that you don’t settle with it.

Yeah. Another suggestion I have is you could start a hobby, or you could restart a hobby that you’ve like I love painting, so I can enjoy colours and painting and even if I’m not necessarily painting anything specific, but just being with colours, feeling the colours I love. I used to love to paint with oil, colours and I love the texture you know, the canvases. So maybe that maybe music maybe singing. Maybe dancing is your therapy, but it is good, too. utilise that feeling and emotion in some productive way for your own sake, you’re not doing it for anybody else. Remember, you’re only doing for your own healing. So do it, whatever, even if it’s, you know, once a once a month that you can afford that time and perhaps money wise or resources wise, just do that. And also, they say learning a new skill, whatever that little skill may be maybe a new language or, but remember, you’re not learning this to compete or do anything, this is part of your healing process. Whatever gives you that happiness, yeah, start doing that activity little by little on the side, while you’re still going through your fertility. And if you still are, and letting those emotions settle, letting those emotions not stir you anymore, and you are able to talk about them. Of course, being mindfulness, as everybody says being mindfulness, whatever that method of mindfulness works for you, again, this is something you can learn. We can do sessions together, you can come to me and I can teach you or you can find somebody whom you like, and then learn with them how to deal with these emotions of being let down. That discipline that hurt that sadness within you, how to let go, how to make it surface and so that your healing happens. And if you’re being led down everyday, you need some healing every day for yourself, it is not something that you think Oh, when I will have eventually have children. After that, I’ll have time and I’m going to do it, then it does not work like that. If your body is taking a blow every single day, then your body needs healing every single day that you could share it with your family and friends. They’re not necessarily always resourceful because they don’t know. And also they, you know, they love you, they don’t want to hurt you. And they don’t know how to address these things properly. I also feel that feeling let down. Feeling of letdown comes from the fact that when we don’t have information or knowledge of a particular topic, yeah. So many women, for example, do not know or have no information about their own cervical mucus, how that works, where their fertile window is. And when they don’t conceive in the first three to six months, they feel this huge disappointment where they they never have that idea how their body was working. And they’re not even working with their fertile window. I’m just giving an example. I’m not saying and this is not to blame this is to find solutions. So many times I feel that if we are not informed about a particular thing, yeah, for example, many people see IVF as a miracle cure, there is IVF and IVF is gonna work 100% of the time, as long as I have the money IVF will work for me, that’s not the case. IVF success rate we all know what it is. So it is when when you have realistic information, at least medical information from a medical point of view, it is still there is still no guarantee that even when medically your chances are 80% Still you don’t know when and how it’s gonna work out for you. But if you have the information, then you have a better idea about yourself about your body about the procedure. Also your you can make better informed choices for yourself and perhaps feel let less letdown you don’t feel as letdown because you will have your expectations set realistic.

So just a few tips to share as always, and as I always say I’m gonna keep saying it keep repeating it to share these videos with women you know, who are trying to get pregnant and don’t know where to turn, or women who would like to use some bespoke natural therapies to help them get pregnant. Then, also, I would like to say we are starting our next group online course on the first of February. So if you are somebody or you know someone who’s looking to get pregnant, want to do some coaching with me then they can join us on the first of February. So let’s get talking. Let’s do something about all of this fertility issues and help you and also help you to get pregnant faster, quicker, healthier. Thank you so much. Thank you for listening, and I will see you on Saturday.